


I can only see you

by Sparkles436



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types, The Shadowhunter Chronicles - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Excessive Drinking, F/M, Friendship, Happy Ending, Insecure Alec, Insecure Magnus, Jealous Magnus, M/M, Magnus Bane and Alec Lightwood are Best Friends, Mundane Magnus Bane/Mundane Alec Lightwood, Mutual Pining, Oblivious Alec, Pining, Protective Siblings, Sibling Love, Some Swearing, Some angst, supportive friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-10-01
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:21:00
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26625865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparkles436/pseuds/Sparkles436
Summary: Magnus and Alec have been friends for years, and Magnus has loved Alec all that time.Alec knows that Magnus is completely out of his league, so he focuses on their friendship, and continues looking for a love of his own, unaware that it is always right beside him, because all Magnus sees is Alec.
Relationships: Isabelle Lightwood/Simon Lewis, Jace herondale/Clary Fray, Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Comments: 75
Kudos: 262





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Everyone,  
> So after not writing for nearly seven years, I am finally dipping my toe back in the water and posting this short fic. Please forgive any errors or typos, while I try and find my rhythm again. Constructive feedback is welcomed, but please be kind. I am currently finishing the final chapter on this story so I promise to get it all posted. I am also working on some other stories (really too many to count) so I’ll probably update every week.  
> I hope you all enjoy. Comments and Kudo’s welcomed and appreciated!  
> A huge thank you and shout out to jadegreendragon for the wonderful support and feedback!

"Oh, God," Clary groans out of the blue.

"What is it?" Izzy asks, turning her head to see what had caught Clary's attention.

"Magnus has got a hanger-on," she replies.

Jace and Alec took a look for themselves and saw Clary's foster brother Magnus standing at the bar of the local over 18's club where their gang of friends had assembled to see their friend Simon perform.

Magnus and Clary had arrived less than 20 minutes ago, and while Clary had headed straight to their table, where her boyfriend Jace waited for her with his siblings, Magnus had headed straight to the bar to order his drink. After, he had stuck around to catch up with Maia, the bartender at Hunter's Moon, and an old friend of his, that he hadn't seen for a few months. 

Maia had currently gotten caught up in filling orders, and Magnus was leaning on the bar, waiting for her to make her way back to his end, and he wasn't alone. 

From what Alec could see, there was a not unattractive guy who was persistently trying to get Magnus's attention and Magnus was politely trying to let the guy know he wasn't interested. Alec couldn't blame the man for trying to hit on Magnus. I mean, it was Magnus. Magnus was gorgeous. Meeting him at 15 had helped Alec accept the fact that he himself was gay, and that that was ok, something Alec had been struggling with for some time until then.. 

Deep in the throes of a crush on his recently adopted brother, it had taken Alec a while to see Magnus as anything more than the confident and flashy boy who seemed to instinctively understand Alec and offer him the support and confidence to be himself. Once he had noticed Magnus though, it was like being burnt by the sun. He outshone everyone and everything around him and had left Alec feeling raw and exposed. 

Eventually, acting in pure self-preservation, knowing that someone as brilliant and special as Magnus would never see Alec as anything more than a friend, Alec had forced himself to move past his crush on Magnus and see him as the friend he was. 

In the last few years, Magnus had cemented his position as one of Alec's favourite people, always able to make the more serious Alec laugh when other's couldn't. He never faltered in his support, and constantly challenged Alec to do things he would never have the courage to do on his own. 

Though Alec had turned his romantic focus elsewhere, it annoyed him to see that the rejection Magnus was, quite obviously giving this other man, was being ignored. 

His momentary musings were interrupted when he heard Jace respond to Clary's observation in a harsh voice. 

"I'll get rid of him. Magnus is too damn nice!"

Alec put a hand on his chest, and with a smile, prevented his brother from moving in.

"Don't worry. I got this."

"Oh yeah?" Jace grinned at Alec, before waving his hands in front of him in a 'go-ahead' gesture.

"Show us what you got tough guy, and hey, pick up another round while you're at it!"

Alec waved his hand at Jace, acknowledging his request, and with a wink at Izzy and Clary, began weaving his way to the bar.

___________________________________________________________________

Magnus rolled his eyes to himself as his persistent admirer refused to take no for an answer. 

When the man had first come over, Magnus had briefly considered responding to the guy's apparent interest, but it had taken less than 20 seconds and a simple glance at the table close to the stage to dissuade Magnus of this idea. 

He had spent the next few minutes politely trying to let the guy know he wasn't interested and when that hadn't worked, he had turned to frankness and flat out told him "I am not interested." 

However, the man's slightly inebriated state had bolstered his confidence so much it had muted his ability to take a hint because the guy was not giving up.

"Seriously, I can make your night so good. You'll wish it will never end," the guy said suggestively, leaning much too close for Magnus's comfort, boozy breath tickling his ear in a way that was decidedly not pleasant.

Magnus took an exasperated breath of his own and turned to the drunk Romeo, prepared to make it blatantly clear that this was never, ever going to happen. However, before he could say a word, he suddenly felt someone new sidle up to him, and an arm slide around his waist. 

Ignoring the tingles that were radiating out from the touch of this newcomer, Magnus began to turn, preparing himself to deal with yet another admirer and mentally cursing the effort he had put into his look tonight, knowing he was going to be seeing Alec. However, before he could complete the action, he felt his cheek caressed by the softest lips he'd ever felt and a voice that had haunted his dreams and fantasies for all the years he had known it.

"Hey, babe. I'm so sorry I'm late."

With a startled look, Magnus turned to see Alexander Lightwood standing beside him, his arm wrapped around Magnus's waist. He was smiling down at him with the softest and sweetest smile he had ever seen as if he had just stepped out of every romantic fantasy Magnus had ever had about him.

Magnus remained frozen at Alec's side, unable to move until Alec gave him a quick squeeze with the fingers that were still curled around his waist, prompting Magnus to respond.

"It's no problem, darling" Magnus responded with a shaky, but happy smile, "I'm happy to wait as long as it takes for you." At this, Alec pressed another kiss to his cheek, and Magnus closed his eyes in pure bliss, knowing Alec had no clue that Magnus had just spoken nothing but the truth.

"Who the fuck are you?" asks the belligerent man to Alec, who was still standing in front to them, before he turned to look back at Magnus accusingly.

"I'm his boyfriend, and the guy he goes home with. Who the hell are you?" Alec replied, straightening up to his full and intimidating height. The impressive strength of Alec's clearly defined physique, and the steely look he had on his face, had intimidated more than one opponent in the martial arts competitions he routinely won. It was clear to Magnus's admirer that this was not someone he wanted to annoy.

Taking another look at the situation in front of him, the guy backed up, and with hands up spoke to Alec. "No offence, man. I didn't realise he was taken." With one last regretful look at Magnus, the man turned and walked away, clearly wanting to put as much distance between himself and the large boyfriend as possible. 

Magnus watched him go in disbelief and turned to Alec with a look of amazement.

"You are amazing, Alexander Lightwood. I have been trying to shake that arse for almost 10 minutes now."

Magnus watched with a soft look as Alec threw his head back in laughter, Magnus's eyes resting on the throat now exposed to his admiring gaze. He swallowed a disappointed sigh as Alec withdrew his arm from Magnus's waist, to raise it above his head, managing to flag down Maia's attention. After giving the table's order, Alec turned back to Magnus. 

"We saw you trying to ditch him from the table. Jace was all for coming over and taking a swing, but I figured my approach might cause us less trouble and allow us to stay in the club long enough to hear Simon play" Alec said. The lopsided smile that accompanied this statement was enough to cause Magnus's heart to stutter in his chest.

"Well, I'm grateful. I didn't particularly want to cause a scene, but I was beginning to get desperate."

"Well, we can't have that. Do you think you can give me a hand with the drinks in return? Simon should be on soon if you want to come and take a seat," Alec said before beginning to gather the drinks.

Magnus quickly agreed and gathered the remaining drinks as well as his own, and after promising to call Maia soon to catch up, followed Alec back to the table. He pointedly kept his eyes on Alec's back as they moved back to their friends, determined not to let them slip lower to where Alec's luscious arse swayed from side to side as it weaved its way between tables. At least not when there were others around to witness his ogling.

"Damn, bro. I thought you were going over to take a swing or something, not cosy up to Magnus" Jace said as Alec and Magnus set down the drinks.

"Not everything has to be solved with your fists Jace," Alec replied with a shake of his head.

"Still better you than me for the part of acting boyfriend", said Jace. "No offence Magnus, you're simply not my type," he said with a sly grin and a wink at the older man.

"Nor are you mine, Jace" replied Magnus with a smile as he sat down in the empty chair next to Alec.

"I must say though", said Magnus, as he turned to Alec, "you played the part of my boyfriend beautifully, Alexander. Maybe we should consider making it a permanent position," he said, unable to keep a small sliver of hope from erupting as he watched a smile come over Alec's face before he responded.

"There's a recipe for disaster. I don't think I have the energy or the confidence to chase off your persistent admirers every night," Alec said with a laugh before he moved back into a conversation he had apparently been having with Jace before he came over to rescue Magnus.

As Magnus pulled his gaze away from Alec with a sad smile, he caught Clary looking over at him with an understanding look. 

Though she had never said anything, Magnus had become aware in the last year that Clary knew full well how Magnus felt about Alec. That no matter how many persistent admirers Magnus might have, he rarely, if ever saw anyone but Alec, even when he wasn't in the room. 

Wanting to avoid the concern in his sister's eyes, he turned to Isabelle who was impatiently awaiting her boyfriend's presence on the stage.

Isabelle and Simon had danced around their undeniable attraction to each other for years, coming together for random hook-ups, before separating again, claiming that it was never anything more than a friends with benefits scenario. 

A few months ago, however, Isabelle had been offered an opportunity to go and study abroad for a year. Though everyone had been excited for her, despite how much they would miss her, she continued to become less and less enthusiastic about it herself. 

Finally, at her 20th birthday party, less than a month before she was meant to leave, Izzy had blown up at Simon, angry that he was ok with her going. 

It had shocked everyone to the core when the typically quiet and happy-go-lucky nerd had begun yelling right back at Isabelle, that, of course, he loved her and had for years, but she didn't want him as anything more than a hook up when she was bored so what was the point! After a few seconds of shocked silence, Isabelle had kissed Simon passionately before dragging him into her bedroom 'to talk.' 

They had emerged the next day as a couple deeply in love and had been inseparable ever since. Isabelle hadn't taken the overseas opportunity, declaring that she had never wanted it in the first place, but simply wanted to see Simon's reaction to her possibly leaving. When he hadn't reacted as she'd hoped, she had decided to go to try and move on. 

The couple had officially been together for a little over four months now and seemed happier than ever. Magnus wondered briefly if Alec would react the same way if Magnus told him he was going to leave for a year. Somehow he doubted it.

He had recently gone away for two months as part of a study trip, for his master's degree in history. Upon hearing that Magnus would be gone for two months, Alec's initial reaction had been to clap him on the back and tell him he expected some souvenirs when he returned.

However, on the day he had left, Alec had given him a long hug and told him he'd miss him. Magnus had almost cancelled his whole trip on the strength of that hug and statement. 

Redirecting his thoughts, he smiled at Isabelle and enquired how Simon had been when she'd seen him.

"He's good. Nervous," Izzy said with a laugh "Though I think I might be more so."

"He'll be wonderful, Isabelle. He's very talented. It's about time he let everyone else know what we have known for years."

At Magnus's kind words, Izzy smiled and turned back to the stage briefly, tapping her foot in nervous anticipation before she turned back to Magnus.

"So how have you been? I feel like we haven't seen you in ages. You've been back for well over a week, and this is the first time we've all seen you."

Magnus turned on a bright smile before turning to answer the brunette's question.

"I know, I've been busy since I got back. But to answer your question, I'm fabulous darling. I am currently acing all my classes, I look fabulous and have oodles of admirers -"

"-Yeah, I saw," Izzy interrupted.

At that, Magnus rolled his eyes.

"Yes well, persistent arse aside, I have offers of dates aplenty, and I am surrounded tonight by my favourite people ever. How could life get any better?"

At this over the top statement, Izzy paused in her constant checking of the stage for Simon and focused her attention entirely on Magnus.

"You say all this, yet I haven't seen you go on a date in ages, and you ace all your classes because unless we literally drag you out, you always stay home and study."

Izzy paused for a moment, continuing to watch him, as Magnus cast about frantically for a valid reason for his lack of a love life - one that didn't involve her brother. However, before he could come up with anything, Izzy continued, having taken pity on the poor man, and sensed an opportunity to confirm a hunch.

"You looked distinctly miserable a few minutes ago. What's going on?"

As he looked down at the table, Magnus ran through half a dozen explanations for his sad look a few minutes earlier. However, after he looked up at Izzy, with a lie ready on his tongue, he changed his mind and decided to simply, be honest, or at least more honest than he had initially intended.

"I truly am ok, Isabelle," he began. "I haven't been dating as I am currently crushing on somebody special. Someone who has yet to notice me, a constant oversight on their part I assure you. In the meantime, I will continue to spend time with my friends and devote myself to becoming the best history major you will ever meet."

As Izzy looked into his eyes, she saw, plain as day, that this explanation was all Magnus was capable of giving her at this time, though she vowed that this wouldn't be the last time they would talk about this. She wasn't alone in hating the way that Magnus had begun to retreat from the group recently, not to mention seeing that spark of his that made him so exceptional begin to falter.

"You already are the best," Izzy said, leaning over and kissing Magnus on the cheek.

"Do you need any help with this unrequited love? Either in punishing them for not realising how fabulous you are or finally opening their eyes to that same fact?"

"No, thank you, my dear," Magnus said with a smile. "Either they will return my love or I shall move on, but the only thing that will help with either of those things is time, and I am more than willing to give it. But thank you. It's nice to have friends like you to lean on."

"Anytime, Magnus."

After taking a deep breath, seeing that Isabelle seemed content to let the questions drop, for now, Magnus turned back to the stage, just in time to see Simon step out.

"Speaking of great loves . . ." Magnus said to Isabelle, as he pointed up to the stage.

Instantly forgetting her conversation with Magnus, Izzy's head whipped around to face the stage, her attention now laser-focused on her boyfriend, a look of excited anticipation on her face.

As Magnus also turned to face the stage, he couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped his lips at Isabelle's continued distraction from their previous conversation. 

As much as Magnus loved Isabelle, he knew that the topic was not altogether dropped. Nor would she be able to resist meddling, especially if she found out that her brother was his unrequited love. 

With a side glance at Alec, Magnus refocused his attention on the stage and tried to let himself be swept up in Simon's music, unable to help the occasional longing look at Alec.

___________________________________________________________________

"How long do you think we'll have to stick around here tonight?" Jace asked Alec as they watched Simon step up to the microphone, guitar slung over his shoulder.

"I don't know. Why don't we ask the guy who constantly plays the home-recorded c.d. Simon accidentally left in his car, which he thinks his brother doesn't know about," Alec shot back with a smirk.

As a distinct blush rapidly crept up Jace's face, he turned to Alec with a hard glare.

"One! I don't know what the hell you're talking about! I do not do that! Two! You tell anyone, and I will take you down!" Jace threatened.

"Please, you haven't been able to take me down for over a year. Besides, we all listen to Simon's music, Jace. I mean the boy has some serious talent. Everyone who hears him likes his music. Which is why we will be sitting here for the whole set, while you pretend you are here against your will."

"Fine," Jace said with a huff.

"And I only listen to it when there is nothing else to put on."

With an amused and disbelieving look on his face, Alec laughed at Jace.

"You have Bluetooth in your car, Jace. You could play any music you want through your phone's various music subscriptions. Give it up."

"Shut up!" Jace said with an embarrassed grimace.

Still chuckling to himself, Alec looked over to see how Isabelle was holding up with Simon singing on stage. Izzy looked aglow with pride, but Alec was quickly distracted by Magnus who had been looking at Alec with a strange look on his face. It was a look Alec couldn't quite place, having never seen it on his friend's face before. Alec smiled at him with a questioning look but grew puzzled when Magnus turned away embarrassed. 

That's strange, he thought to himself. He grew even more puzzled when he saw Magnus side glance at Alec again, before fixating back on the stage. As Alec watched, it seemed to him that Magnus was less watching their friend on stage, and more determinedly not looking at Alec.

Alec kept a close eye on Magnus for the remainder of the first set, who continued to keep his focus solely on Simon, occasionally looking away from Alec, towards Isabelle, but never at Alec. 

As the night went, Alec couldn't help but wonder if he had done something to offend Magnus. The only possibility that Alec could come up with was the way that Alec had held and touched him when getting rid of that loser at the bar. 

He couldn't figure out why Magnus would be upset with that, though. They had never been overly affectionate friends, but it wasn't out of the norm for them to exchange a hug or throw an arm around the others shoulders. What Alec had done at the bar hadn't been much more than that. 

Still, Alec couldn't help but worry that something was wrong. Maybe Magnus thought that Alec was a little too comfortable playing the part of Magnus's boyfriend. Perhaps that's what that joke earlier had been about, and he had been testing out Alec's true thoughts, wanting to make sure that Alec truly didn't have designs on him. 

While Alec couldn't deny that being Magnus's boyfriend would be an experience never to forget or recover from, surely Magnus knows that Alec had no such designs on him. Magnus was in a different league than Alec, and there was no way he could ever compete with the people Magnus was usually attracted to, nor did he want to. 

Magnus burned through companions quickly and without care, for the most part, Camille being the exception. Alec had no desire to add himself to the list of past conquests. He valued his friendship with Magnus far too much for that.

Taking one last look at Magnus, he resolved to find a moment in the set break to talk to Magnus and calm any fears he had of Alec pursuing him.

___________________________________________________________________

Magnus was barely aware of what Simon was playing up on that stage, even though he usually found the young musician to be extraordinarily talented and generally found himself captivated by his music. 

Tonight though, all he could focus on was the way that Alexander kept looking over to him with a questioning look on his face. Magnus was well aware of the fact that he was the one causing Alec's questioning gaze. 

He had finished his talk with Isabelle, who had gotten caught up in watching her boyfriend play, when he had turned briefly to look at Alec. He had caught him chuckling at something Jace had said, and smiling that glorious smile that stole Magnus's breath. For a brief moment, he had forgotten about everyone around them and simply let himself get lost in the beauty that was Alexander. 

It had been that moment that Alec had turned to catch Magnus, and in his embarrassment, Magnus had quickly turned back to the stage. After a few seconds, he had checked to see if Alec had turned away, only to see Alec looking at him with that questioning look on his face. 

Knowing he may have given himself away, Magnus kept his eyes firmly focused on Simon, steeling himself not to look at Alexander again, even though he could frequently feel Alec's gaze on him. 

Please, God, don't let him know, Magnus begged in his head, unsure just who it was he was asking. The moment Simon stopped for his set break, Magnus jumped up.

"Right! Another round for the table! My treat! Biscuit, come help me," Magnus said, directing the last part to his sister. Clary made to stand up, but before she could get fully to her feet, Alec had jumped up instead.

"I'll help Magnus. Clary, you stay with Jace. He turns into a miserable sod anytime you’re not within touching distance," Alec said with a smirk at his brother, before moving to step away from the table.

"I do not!" Jace replied, before turning to Clary with a soft look.

"I do prefer you near though." 

As Jace leaned in to give Clary a kiss, Magnus looked helplessly down at the couple before pasting a smile on his face and turning back to Alec.

"Wonderful. Let's go, Alexander," before walking away briskly to the bar.

As Alec rushed to catch up, Magnus lectured himself to calm down and start acting normal before Alec began to think he was having some sort of nervous breakdown.

Arriving at the bar, Magnus was placing the table's order with Maia's coworker, when Alec finally got there. After a minute's silence, Magnus decided that he had to say something to alleviate the tension that had cropped up between them. Casting about frantically for something to say, Alec beat him to it.

"Is everything ok, Magnus?" Alec asked nervously.

"Of course! Why wouldn't it be?"

"I don't know. You can't seem to look at me for one."

As Magnus tried to calm himself enough to meet Alec's gaze, Alec continued.

"Look, Magnus, I've obviously done something to upset you, but I don't know what it is. You seemed ok with me getting rid of that guy, but if I overstepped, I do apologise."

At that, Magnus did turn to look at Alec with a shocked expression on his face.

"Of course I'm not upset you got rid of that idiot. I'm grateful, Alec, you know that."

"Then why are you mad at me?" Alec continued.

"I'm not -"

"Magnus -"

"I'm not, Alec. I promise I'm not mad at you. I'm just in a funny mood tonight."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, Alexander."

Alec smiled in happiness, and Magnus knew that Alec had decided to simply move past Magnus's strange behaviour and accept his word that it had nothing to do with their relationship. 

This was in itself, one of the things that Magnus liked best about Alec. He never pushed people. He accepted them for who they are and what they said and waited till they were ready to talk. He was a constant support and loyal friend to those few he let himself care about, and Magnus was grateful to be able to count himself among that exclusive group. He knew he was being selfish, wanting more, but he couldn't help himself. 

Now wasn't the time to focus on that, though. 

Taking another look at Alexander, he felt a smile take over his face again, as Alec, now relaxed in his company, began to regale him with the story of a drunken students antics that he had witnessed at school that day. 

Magnus only kept vague track of the story, enough to insert the odd comment at the appropriate time, instead, watching the way Alec's face lit up in the telling. 

As the bartender came over to hand off the table's latest round of drinks, the man also seemed to be caught up by Alec's beauty, looking at Alec in a manner that Magnus found distinctly unprofessional. 

"You have a gorgeous smile," the bartender said with a flirty smile at Alec.

"Me?" Alec said in disbelief, looking at Magnus as if to confirm with him that it was Alec the bartender was flirting with. Magnus gave what he hoped was a smile in response, but to him, it felt much more like a grimace.

"Yeah, you. You're gorgeous," the bartender continued.

"Th- th- thanks," Alec stammered in response, a shy smile slowly taking over his face as he began focusing his attention on the new man.

"You guys make a cute couple," the bartender continued, pointing between Alec and Magnus.

"Oh, no! No, we're not together! No, we're just friends," Alec told him hastily, blushing slightly for reasons that Magnus couldn't comprehend at the moment.

At this new information, the bartender smiled seductively at Alec.

"I'm Jonathon," 

"Alec."

"So, Alec, you single?"

"I am."

"You free tomorrow night?"

Magnus watched with horror as Alec and the bartender made a date in front of him, while he frantically cast about for a reason to stop it. Before he could think of a valid reason or any reason at all, Alec and Jonathon had exchanged numbers and made plans to meet up the following night.

With one last smile at the man behind the bar, Alec began picking up their drinks, Magnus numbly joining him as he gathered the others, before they both turned to head back to the table.

"I can't believe that just happened," Alec said. "I mean, for starters, who the hell looks at me when I'm standing next to you!" 

"You underestimate yourself, Alexander. You are an incredible catch," Magnus said with a sad smile.

"Really?" Alec asked with a shocked smile, all the while looking intently at Magnus like his opinion was the only one that truly mattered.

"Really," Magnus choked out.

As they arrived back at the table, Alec began sharing his news, his excitement bubbling over and being echoed back at him by everyone, while Magnus sunk into his seat and gulped down his drink. 

The next time he looked up, Clary was watching him with yet another sad smile, and this time, Isabelle was also watching him with a considering look. 

Unable to sit still under the constant scrutiny, Magnus stood up, and mumbling an excuse about not feeling well, rushed out of the bar, ignoring the calls that followed behind him from his friends and straight into a cab that had just deposited someone at the kerb.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus tries to avoid Alec, both boys are pulled into talks with their sisters and Alec goes on his date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, since I started writing again, I now have story ideas coming from everywhere, and being unable to let many of them go, I am posting some of the finished stuff a little quicker than planned. As such, here is Chapter 2, which I hope you all enjoy, and on Thursday/Friday when I was planning to originally release this chapter, I’ll be putting out chapter 3 instead.  
> Constructive feedback is welcomed, but please be kind.  
> Comments and kudo’s are welcomed and appreciated!

Magnus looked over as a familiar ringtone began to play on his phone on Saturday afternoon. 

This was the third time Alec had called him today, obviously calling to enquire as to Magnus’s strange behaviour last night. Or maybe, Magnus thought bitterly, he was calling to talk about his date with the hot bartender taking place in just a few hours. It was this fear that had prevented Magnus from answering Alec’s previous calls. 

However, knowing he couldn’t avoid Alec forever, Magnus finally decided he should just bite the bullet.

“Magnus, finally! You ran out last night not looking well and mumbling about being sick, and you haven’t been answering anyone’s calls. I was worried about you. Are you ok?”

As Magnus listened to Alec’s ramble, a gentle smile came over his face. The genuine concern in Alec’s voice, bringing a spreading warmth to his chest.

“I’m fine, Alexander. I think it was just a small bug. I had an extra rest this morning, and I’m feeling right as rain again. Thank you, though for your concern.”

“Of course.”

At this, there was a slight pause before Magnus felt compelled to fill it.

“So are you excited for your date?” Magnus inquired, unable to help himself.

“Uh, yeah, I guess. I don’t know. I’m not good at talking to people I don’t know. I’m sure it’ll be a disaster,” Alec laughed self-deprecatingly.

If only, Magnus thought to himself, before shame immediately washed over him. 

“I’m sure you’ll be fine, Alexander,” he replied instead, trying to inject as much reassurance into his voice as possible.

“Yeah, we’ll see. Anyhow, I was hoping if you’re feeling better, you might want to catch up tomorrow. It’s been a while.”

“Yeah, it has,” Magnus replied. 

He’d recently been on a study trip, for two months with some fellow students, visiting different historical sites across the country. Magnus had simultaneously missed Alec dreadfully and had been glad for the small reprieve of having to watch everything he says and does, so as not to give away his hidden feelings. 

Now that he was back though, Magnus was finding it more and more difficult to regain his old composure.

“Actually, having just got back, I’ve got a lot going on at the moment. Maybe next week?” Magnus asked, hating himself for delaying the moment when he could be with Alexander again, but knowing he had to protect himself from the constant ache the younger man unknowingly gave him.

“Next week?” Alec asked in slight disbelief.

“Um, yeah, I suppose that works,” he said, confusion and disappointment evident in his voice as he continued. 

“Ok, We both have half days on Thursdays. Why don’t we meet for lunch, and then I’ll even let you drag me out shopping. You know you love every opportunity you get to use me as your own human Ken doll,” Alec said with a low laugh.

Closing his eyes at the perfection of the sound, and the joy that came at the thought of dressing Alexander as he wished, Magnus quickly cut himself off though when his mind went from putting clothes on Alexander to taking them off instead. 

Shaking his head, to try and disrupt his current thought process, Magnus returned his focus to the conversation.

“Sound’s perfect, Alexander. I’ll see you then.”

“See you, Magnus.” Before Magnus could hang up though, Alec spoke again. “I’m glad you’re back.”

Magnus’s heart melted at the affection in Alec’s voice, hope once again blossoming in his chest that one day Alec would look at him and see just how perfect the two of them could be together.

“Me too, Alec. It’s good to be home.”

___________________________________________________________________

“Izzy, you didn’t have to come over here to dress me. I am more than capable of choosing my own clothes for this date,” Alec explained for the umpteenth time to his sister. 

A little over an hour ago, she had barged into the apartment he shared with Jace, declaring him to be a fashion disaster and she, his saviour. “We’re going to make you look fabulous brother,” she had told him.

Now, however, she responded somewhat distractedly, while holding a forest green sweater up against Alec’s chest.

“Of course, I needed to come over and dress you. You are hopeless at dressing yourself. You think simply wearing something that doesn’t have deliberate holes in it, means you’ve dressed up.”

At this, Alec shifts uncomfortably, knowing that his sister was closer to the truth than he was willing to admit.

Deciding that the sweater wasn’t right, she turned back to Alec’s closet and started looking through it again, before glancing back over her shoulder at him, with a speculative look.

“So are you excited? It’s been a while since you went on a date.”

“Not that long. Remember Jace set me up with that idiot from his class last month.”

“That was over two months ago, Alec,” Izzy replied exasperatedly. “Where is Jace anyway?” She asked.

“He’s out at the library. He has a big final coming up. Anyway, two months ago is still not that long ago,” Alec replied.

“Whatever you say, Hermano. So are you excited or not?”

“Yeah, I guess. He’s certainly good looking. And he seems nice. I’m sure he’ll get bored of me soon enough,” Alec said with a self-disparaging grin.

At this, Izzy turned to Alec with a startled expression on her face.

“How can you say that, Alec? You are a catch, big brother!!! Any man would be lucky to have you!”

Shaking her head at Alec’s sceptical look, Izzy turned back to the closet and pulled out a dark grey slimline shirt and handed it to Alec, along with a pair of dark blue jeans. 

“Here, put these on, shirt untucked, but only button it to just below the waist. And at least three at the throat undone.”

Alec rolled his eyes before stepping into the bathroom to dress.

Moving aimlessly around the room while she waited for him to re-emerge, Izzy called out in a casual voice that belied her real interest.

“Have you spent much time with Magnus since he came back?”

Alec briefly hesitated while buttoning up his shirt before answering his sister’s question, disappointment evident in his voice.

“Only last night. I’ve tried a bunch of other times, but he’s been busy since he got back I guess.”

“Yeah, that’s what he told me last night.”

Stepping back into the room, Alec held his arms out to his side and slowly spun on the spot.

“So, do I pass the Izzy inspection?” He asked.

“He won’t know what hit him, Alec. So, have you tried hard to make plans with Magnus?” She continued persistently.

“I’ve asked a couple of times, but no, he’s busy, so I haven’t harassed the man Izzy. We’re getting lunch on Thursday though before he drags me out on one of his little shopping adventures.”

“Good, you need new clothes,” Izzy replied. “You’re current options are limited. I’m glad you’re going to be spending some time together, though. Did you talk much while he was away?”

“Geez, Izzy, what’s with the twenty questions?” Alec asked, laughing.

“You got a secret crush on Magnus? You planning on dumping Simon for him or something?”

“As if! I am more than happy with Simon. Thank you very much! I just want to know if the two of you have spent much time together recently, that’s all.”

“Yeah, ok,” Alec said, giving her a strange look, before glancing down at his watch.

“Listen I gotta go, Izzy, or I’m going to be late meeting Jonathon.”

Izzy opened her mouth as if to say something else, before seeming to reconsider. Instead, she leaned forward and hugged her brother, whispering in his ear before pulling away.

“Have a good night, big brother. I love you.”

“Love you too, Izzy.”

Alec gave her a quick kiss on the forehead before stepping away to grab his wallet, phone and keys, looking over to his sister again, before he stepped out of the room.

“You staying here for a few more hours or heading out?” He asked, knowing she sometimes liked to use her brother’s apartment to escape her dorm room.

“I’m staying to raid your fridge, before heading out to meet Clary for a drink,” she told him with a winning smile, before chucking his black leather jacket at him.

“Here, take this too,” she said with a smile.

“Yeah, ok. Just be sure to leave us some food, you hear? We don’t want to wake up tomorrow with nothing to eat.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’ll do my best,” she replied, giving him a wink as he walked out the door with a chuckle.

___________________________________________________________________

“Whatcha doing?”

Magnus jumped slightly in response to Clary coming up behind him, where he sat curled up on the lounge of their small apartment.

“Sorry,” she said with a grin. “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“No, I’m sorry, Biscuit. I was a million miles away it seems. What’d you ask me?”

“I asked what you were up to? Izzy and I are meeting up for a drink in a bit if you want to come along,” she asked hopefully.

“No, I’m good thanks, Clary. I’m still kinda wiped out from whatever bug that was I picked up last night. I’m just going to watch some tv or something and hit the sack,” he replied with a small smile.

“Right, that bug. Nothing I can get you to help you get over it?” She asked with a considered look.

Magnus dropped his eyes at the look his sister was giving him, unable to take the understanding in her eyes.

“I’m fine, Clary. I promise. But, thank you,” he said, giving her a smile but not quite meeting her eyes.

“You sure?”

“I’m sure. Have a good night, Biscuit.”

“You too, Magnus. Love you,” she said softly.

“I love you too, Biscuit,” he gently replied.

Magnus continued to sit curled up on the couch as Clary gathered up her things and prepared to head out. After giving her a last goodnight as she stepped out the door, Magnus returned to his previous obsessing over the date that Alec was on, wondering what he was doing now if he was having a good time if they were already making plans for a second date.

Magnus knew that this constant focus on Alec’s date wasn’t healthy and that he should move on. Unfortunately, that is easier said than done. He had had high hopes for his two months away. It was easily the longest he had gone without seeing Alec since they had first met, and Magnus had been convinced that the break would give him time to find the distance he so desperately needed and begin looking at someone new. 

Since meeting Alec, and beginning this longing for the shy Adonis, he had tried dating other people, with little success. Most didn’t last longer than a single date, which had earned Magnus a bit of a reputation as a serial dater. One he didn’t try to dissuade everyone of, as it helped keep his feelings for Alec hidden. 

The closest he had come to an actual relationship was Camille last year. They had lasted for a little over 6 months until she had cheated on him with a former boyfriend. His friends had been outraged on his behalf, none more so than Alec. If only they had known, Magnus had been relieved in the end that the relationship was over. 

What everyone had mistaken for heartbreak at Camille’s infidelity, had actually been heartbreak at his realisation that no matter what he did, he couldn’t break the hold Alec had over him, and it was turning him into someone he didn’t like, something Camille had been sure to point out to him in their final fight.

“Be honest, Magnus! You don’t give a shit that I slept with Victor! The only thing that ever gets your attention, or should I say person, is that pathetic loser Alec fucking Lightwood! He’s the only one you actually give a shit about! What the hell you are doing pretending to be in a relationship with me for, I don’t know, because you don’t give a shit about me! You never have! I’m just here to cover up your stupid little crush, and I’m sick of it!”

“What the hell are you talking about Camille?”

“Oh please! Don’t even try to pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about! Anytime you’re around that pathetic loser you go all fucking moon eyes at him! It’s fucking disgusting to watch.”

“You’re wrong. And don’t you dare call Alexander pathetic,” Magnus said in a steely voice.

“I’ll call him whatever the hell I want. He’s the reason you never really looked at me.”

“Don’t try to make excuses Camille. You cheated, you’re in the wrong here, not me.”

“Bullshit Magnus! I may have slept with Victor, but you have cheated on me every single day of our fucking so-called relationship, and you know it! You never wanted to be with me. You just didn’t want anyone to know you wanted to be with him. Well, you know what! I deserve better! So go ahead and blame me! Tell your friends I’m the big bad bitch, and who knows, maybe it’ll earn you a sympathy fuck from that loser. You and I both know the truth, though. This is all on you.”

With that, Camille had walked out the door, and Magnus’s heart had broken at the realisation that what she had said was the truth. He had been unfaithful every day of their relationship. Not intentionally. He could never do that. He had honestly wanted to make it work with Camille, and perhaps if he hadn’t already fallen for Alec, he could have. But he had been fooling himself when he thought he had let go of his desire for Alec to move into a committed relationship with Camille. She was right. She had deserved more than he had given her, and he hated what it had turned him into. 

He had promised himself since that day that he would avoid another relationship until he was sure he was over Alec, unwilling to do to another, what he had done to Camille. If his friends continued to believe he was still wallowing in his heartbreak at her walking out, well then, he wasn’t going to push to change their minds.

Magnus was beginning to believe though that he was going to be alone forever. His feelings for Alec were not getting weaker. On the contrary, by the time Magnus had returned from his two months away, he had been near desperation to see Alec again, their brief texts and two quick phone calls while he had been away having not been near enough to fill Magnus’s need of the other man. 

In fact, his desperation to see Alec again had scared Magnus. So much that he had refused to see anyone except Clary and their parents until last night. He was sure that upon seeing Alexander again, he would be unable to resist grabbing the man and pulling him in close and kissing him senseless. 

He hadn’t been able to avoid Alec entirely, and twice they had fallen into their old pattern of late-night phone calls, that often ran straight into the early morning hours. Alec had been eager to hear all about his trip and share in his excitement at the work he had done, and Magnus had again felt the pull dragging him into Alexander’s orbit. As such, he had come up with excuse after excuse to not meet up in person, avoiding the whole group so as to not be obvious in his avoidance of Alexander.

When he had finally given in to Clary’s pleas and Alexander’s constant texts he had agreed to attend the club last night, but as soon as he had entered, his eyes had been drawn to Alexander, and he had lost his breath. Needing another minute, he had mumbled some excuse to Clary about catching up with Maia before joining them, which is how he got waylaid by that relentless arse at the bar. 

That, in turn, had brought his very own Prince Charming to his rescue, where he had then had to watch his Prince be swept off his feet by another. 

Another, who at this moment could be holding Alec’s hand across the table. Who could be telling Alec how handsome he looked (because of course, Alexander would be looking fantastic). Who could be leaning forward to give Alec a soft kiss. One that would lead to another, and another and another.

Rolling his own eyes and groaning at himself, Magnus heaved himself off the couch and walked into the kitchen to pull out some delivery menus from the drawer. After a seconds hesitation, he began searching out any alcohol they had left in the house as well.

___________________________________________________________________

Alec was not enjoying this date. I mean, he was. Jonathon was funny, charming, good looking, and leaving Alec no doubt that he would be more than happy to accompany him home tonight. Although it wouldn’t be the first time Alec had gone home with a date, it was becoming a more and more unlikely occurrence. 

In his life, Alec had slept with less than a handful of partners, and only one of those had enticed Alec into going back for more. However, tonight, Alec was just not feeling it. He didn’t know why. It wasn’t as if Jonathon was saying anything offensive. In fact, he was going out of his way to draw out Alec’s interests and opinions on a variety of topics. And although he’d made his interest in Alec clear, he wasn’t pushing himself on him either.

“So do you have another competition coming up? I’d love to see it,” Jonathon tells him, in response to Alec’s revelation that he routinely takes part in martial art tournaments, alongside his brother and sister.

“Not for a couple of months,” Alec replied.

“Well, I’ll have to make sure we’re still dating in a couple of months,” Jonathon told him with a wink, “which is not a problem for me.”

“Oh, really?” Alec said with a smile. Even if he didn’t feel any sparks with Jonathon, it was nice to feel appreciated.

“C’mon, Alec. You have to know you’re a catch, right?”

“Actually I think you’re the first person to think so. Or at least the first person to say so to me, apart from kind family members.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“It’s true. Between having Jace as a brother, and Magnus as a best friend, most people don’t tend to look at me,” Alec tells him revealingly.

“You’re kidding, right?” Jonathon asks disbelievingly.

“No, of course, I’m not. You’ve seen them both right? I mean, I’m not bad looking, I know that, but they eclipse mere mortals like me when we’re out together, so, yeah,” Alec says laughing, “I’m not the one that people notice.” 

“Yeah, they’re both gorgeous, I’ll give you that, but Alec, you are in no way eclipsed by them. If you doubt that, I only ask that you look at how your so-called best friend looks at you when you’re not looking.”

At that comment, Alec looked up in confusion.

“What are you talking about? How does he look at me?”

Jonathon suddenly looked hesitant about continuing this line of conversation.

“No particular way. I’m just saying he’s noticed your good looking and that you get noticed. Probably just doesn’t want the competition or something.”

With that, Alec laughed.

“Trust me, there is no competition there.”

“If you say so,” Jonathon replied, before asking Alec if he was enjoying his dinner.

“Yeah, it’s good,” Alec said, and with that, the date continued as it had before.

___________________________________________________________________

At 10pm, Magnus couldn’t take it anymore. He had been obsessing over Alexander on his date all night, getting steadily drunker on the bottle of scotch he had found at the back of the pantry. It didn’t help, that after locating the scotch, he had abandoned the idea of calling out for food, and had stuck with a liquid diet instead. 

No matter how drunk he got, though, he couldn’t stop the thoughts, playing over in his head, of all the things that the bartender might be doing with Alec before the night was over. Things Magnus was growing more and more certain that he would never have a chance to experience with him. 

As tears begin to roll down his cheeks, he drunkenly got up, his hand reaching out to catch himself on the back of the sofa as he waited to feel a little steadier on his feet. 

Once the room stopped spinning around him, he dragged himself up the hall and into the shower, determined to wash away the smell of his own misery before going to bed. Instead, he found himself giving in to his despair and letting the tears fall silently as he held himself up against the shower wall. 

Eventually, the tears dried up, and the suddenly cooling water sobered him enough to allow him to wash. He numbly stepped out of the shower and after drying himself roughly with a towel, pulled on a pair of boxers. 

After crawling into bed, he lay there quietly, his thoughts returning again to Alexander, and this time, instead of tears, he felt his mind find the acceptance in the fact that Alexander was his love. Not just a passing crush, or even a passion that burned brightly for a few years, before fading away into a pale echo of what it had been, allowing the couple to drift away into something they no longer recognised. 

No, Alexander was the love of his life. No amount of time or distance was going to change this, and Magnus knew it. Now he just had to figure out how to deal with this revelation. 

___________________________________________________________________

After finishing dinner at the restaurant, Jonathon had asked Alec to walk with him around a local street fair that was occurring a few blocks away.

“There’s dancing, from a bunch of different street musicians, different food stalls, different drinks being mixed up, some made up, right on the spot by some of the best mixologists in the city,” Jonathon tried to tempt Alec.

“Not to mention a whole pile of vendors selling crap you’ll never need, and a tonne of other fun stuff. What’d ya say?”

Alec watched as Jonathon bit his lip in what was obviously a deliberately seductive move. Alec had to admit it worked for him. He could feel part of him wanting to say yes to the beautiful blond in front of him. The night had been fun, and Jonathon was clearly a great guy who would be an incredible catch for anyone. More than anything, Alec wanted to be able to respond in kind to his apparent interest, but as much as he wished it was different, he just didn’t feel that spark. 

He knows that he was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t help it. 

Watching Izzy, the most independent woman he had ever known go all gushy over Simon, made him want that too. Seeing the way Jace could never tear his eyes away from Clary whenever she was in the room, or stop himself from bringing her up in conversation whenever she wasn’t, made him want someone to occupy his own thoughts in the same way. Watching his siblings in their relationships had only confirmed for him that these possibilities existed, and he found that he preferred to hold out for someone special rather than settle for someone else. 

He couldn’t help thinking that Jonathon deserved better too than to be a place holder for someone else Alec wanted more, even if he hadn’t met him yet.

Jonathon continued to watch Alec as he considered his offer, and in doing so must have seen the decision come over his face.

“You would prefer to end the night here I take it,” Jonathon said softly, not asking a question, just stating a fact in a clearly disappointed tone.

“I’m sorry,” Alec said, shrugging in apology. 

“You’re great, and I’ve really enjoyed tonight, I truly have. I just don’t believe in leading people on, and as great as you are, and as much as I wish it was different, I am just not feeling it.”

At this, Alec paused as Jonathon gave out a sigh and looked away.

“Are you hating me right now?” Alec asked.

Looking back at Alec, Jonathon hesitated for a moment, before answering.

“Nah, I don’t hate you. You’re a good guy, and you’re being upfront about how you feel. How could I hate you for that?”

Giving Alec a wryly smile, Jonathon gave it one last shot.

“I don’t suppose there’s anything I could say to change your mind? As you said, I’m pretty great.”

Alec laughed and again wished he felt differently.

“No, I’m afraid not.”

“Well, now I know why you insisted on paying for dinner at least.”

“Yeah well, it didn’t seem fair otherwise. Thank you for a great night, though. If you’re ever looking for a friend to hang out with, I’m always available for that. You have my number.”

Jonathon nodded in acceptance.

“One day, I might use it. Good luck to you, Alec. I hope you find the one you’re looking for.”

“Thanks, Jonathon, you too. Whomever he is, he’ll be a lucky guy.”

“Hell yeah, he will!” He replies, and the two of them share a laugh.

Jonathon holds his arms out in invitation, and, smiling, Alec reaches in and gives him a hug, neither man holding on longer than appropriate.

Separating they give each other one last smile and begin to turn to go in different directions.

As Alec walked away, he heard Jonathon call out one last time.

“Hey, Alec!”

Turning around, Alec shot the other man an inquisitive look.

“How sure are you that you haven’t found that special guy?”

Puzzled, Alec threw him a questioning look.

“What are you talking about?”

“Your best friend? The one you feel eclipses you? You mentioned him a couple of dozen times tonight. More than you talked about anyone else.”

As Alec tried to puzzle out this comment, Jonathon continued.

“And you really should see the way he looks at you when he thinks you’re not looking.”

At that, Jonathon turned and walked away, throwing one final wave over his shoulder at the stunned man he was leaving behind in his wake.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More sibling talks and Magnus and Alec have lunch.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So once again, I have decided to post early. The truth is that I have so many ideas and stories swirling around in my head right now that I need off-load some of them. Even though this is entirely finished, and I could leave it sitting there until the day I promised to upload it, I just want to get it out there so I can focus exclusively on the other pieces. So, I am posting chapter 3 today, and chapter 4 (final chapter) will come out as planned on Thursday.  
> I hope you enjoy it.  
> Constructive feedback is welcomed but please be kind.  
> Comments and kudo’s welcomed and appreciated.

Magnus groaned as he began to rise into consciousness Sunday morning. Drinking so much the night before really had not been a smart idea. Not quite willing to open his eyes just yet, Magnus reflected back on his ill-advised night and the cause of it. Alexander didn’t date a lot, so, thankfully, it was not a situation that Magnus found himself in often. Still, he knew he was going to have to find a way to deal with it better in the future. If only to save himself this pain that was currently tearing his head apart. In all seriousness, though, Magnus thought to himself, one day, Alec was going to find himself more than just a date. One day, he would find himself a boyfriend, Magnus thought brokenly. The pain in his heart momentarily eclipsing the pain of his hangover at the thought of Alec finding love elsewhere, Magnus was forced for a moment to remind himself to breathe.

Finally opening his eyes, Magnus immediately slammed them shut again as the light coming through the blinds he had left open the night before pierced right through his eyes, and straight into his brain. Letting out another groan, he threw his arm over his eyes, and opening them beneath his protective limb, began to expose them to the light again, one small amount at a time. After a few minutes, when Magnus found he could brave the light through squinted eyes, he dragged himself up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. Taking another moment to figure out if he’s stomach was going to behave should he decide to stand up, Magnus eventually decided to give it the benefit of the doubt and rose to his feet.

He gingerly began making his way to the kitchen where he found Clary and Isabelle, nursing their own coffee’s but looking in distinctly better shape than he felt.

“Morning” Izzy drawled, an amused smirk on her face, as she took in his state of attire.

“Did we forget to dress ourself this morning before stepping out in public?”

Confused, Magnus looked down and realised he was still only wearing his skin-tight black boxers, ones that did absolutely nothing to hide any part of his body. He briefly considered going back to his room to put some clothes on, but in the end, decided the effort was too much. Besides, he thought to himself, I’ve got nothing to be ashamed of.

“Public my arse” he responded to Isabelle. “This is my kitchen, and I’ll wear what I want.”

“As long as you’re wearing something, I’m happy,” Clary declared, looking quite perky for someone who had been out drinking. They both did.

“I thought you two went out drinking last night? How come you both look so chipper this morning?” Magnus grumbled at them.

“Because unlike my brothers, and you, obviously, when we say we’re going out for a night of drinking, we don’t mean getting shit-faced wasted to the point that we can’t function the next day. We mean going out, having a few drinks, dancing and having a good time.”

“Well, good for you,” Magnus replied grumpily.

“I thought you were staying home to watch tv. Have an early night. Sound familiar?” Clary asked her brother, giving him a worried look.

“I did watch tv and go to bed early. I just also drank.”

“Well maybe you could also shower at some point,” Isabelle suggested, wrinkling her nose. “You’re sweating booze out of your pores.”

“Yeah, ok. Just let me ingest some caffeine first, ok?” He pleaded, looking at the coffee machine, hiding behind his sister.

“You got it, big brother,” Clary told him softly, reaching up into the cupboard to collect his favourite mug, and pouring some freshly brewed coffee into it. He and Clary shared many similar traits, for adopted siblings, but perhaps the greatest of these was their snobbery when it came to their coffee. You would never find instant coffee in their place, even if the fridge was empty and the cupboard was bare, there was still good quality coffee.

“Thank you!” He tells her gratefully, lowering his body down into a barstool next to Isabelle and wrapping his fingers around his ‘Do you like boys or girls - Yes’ coffee mug. Taking a much-needed sip, Magnus began to feel somewhat fortified as the coffee started to work on his central nervous system. Lowering his head onto his hand, he turned it slightly to the side and gazed at Izzy.

“Did you stay over last night or are you just visiting early this morning?”

“I stayed over. My dorm-mate had her boyfriend staying over, so I crashed with Clary.”

“Good choice,” Magnus replied, before turning back to his coffee. He spent the next few minutes debating with himself in his head, going back and forth, before finally giving in, and asking Izzy the question that had been floating around his head all morning.

“Have you heard from Alec this morning? Did he enjoy his date?” He asked, as casually as he could manage.

Lowering her cup and tilting her head to the side, Izzy gazed at him quizzically, before responding.

“No, I haven’t. Have you?” She asked pointedly.

“No, I just got up,” he huffed.

“Well, so did I!” She answered back, giving him a pointed look.

“Besides,” she continued. “Seeing as he was out on the hot date last night, he’s probably still sleeping himself.” As she took another sip of her coffee, she gave him an observant look. “Probably not alone,” she added in a casual voice.

At this Magnus froze slightly, before forcing himself to take another mouthful of his now-bitter tasting coffee.

“I doubt that he took the guy home, Isabelle. Alexander’s got better taste than that,” Magnus said, praying to whatever God was listening that what he was saying was the truth.

“Oh, I don’t know” Izzy replied casually. “That bartender was hot as hell! I’m not sure even Alec could resist that piece of arse.”

Suddenly Magnus was no longer sure his stomach was going to continue behaving. Lurching out of his seat, he grabbed his coffee and, mumbling something about taking a shower, stalked out of the room.

The two girls watched as he walked out, at which point Clary reached across the bench and smacked Izzy’s arm.

“What the hell was that about?!? Are you trying to hurt my brother???” She asked angrily.

Rubbing her arm, at the unexpectedly hard hit delivered by her friend, Izzy glared, before answering the accusation.

“No! I’m trying to prompt him into actually doing something about the fact that he is head over heels in love with my brother! Alec is clueless! He doesn’t see it, because he thinks Magnus is so far out of his league, he’d never even look at him. He’s the only person who doesn’t know that not only does Magnus look at him, but he sees absolutely nobody else. Alec is never going to make a move. It has to be Magnus.”

“And you think tormenting my brother about Alec hooking up with someone else is going to do it,” Clary asked worriedly. “What if it just sends him running in the other direction?”

“To Alec or from Alec, Clary. He has to make a move some time. He can’t keep living like this.”

“I know,” Clary sighed, looking worriedly in the direction her brother had gone.

___________________________________________________________________

“Morning Jace. Coffee?” Says Alec, bright and early the next morning.

“Sounds good, thanks,” Jace replied, stepping into the small kitchen he shared with his brother.

“What are you doing up so early? Shouldn’t you be recovering from a night of torrid lovemaking with a hot bartender? Or at least be sporting a couple of hickeys from a hot make-out session that lasted well into the early hours?” Jace asked with a sly wink.

“Unfortunately, all I am recovering from is a nice dinner with a great guy, with whom I shared absolutely zero sparks,” Alec answered with a shrug.

“Oh shit, man. Sorry.”

“No worries. Maybe the next guy, right?”

“That’s the spirit, brother. Want to go work out that bottled up sexual frustration at the gym?”

“Hell, yes!” Alec replied, taking his coffee into his bedroom and calling out over his shoulder as he left.

“I’ll be ready to leave in 15!”

A little over two hours later, Jace and Alec were calling time on their work out, having spent the last 45 minutes in their own version of an MMA sparring. Basically, they used every move they had ever learnt to try and dominate the other. As soon as one of them tapped out, they would take a breath and go again.

“Geez, Alec!” Jace puffed out. “You could’ve warned me that you planned on working out all 23 years of your frustration out on me this morning. I’m going to be aching for the next week.”

“Sorry Jace,” Alec replied with a laugh, watching as his brother winced when he rolled his shoulder.

“Are you alright?” He asked, checking in with Jace as he continued to hobble his way over to the bench.

“Yeah, just tell me this was a one-off, working some deep shit out in your head beating and not a part of your new regular workout routine and we’re all good,” Jace groaned as he eased himself down on the bench.

“Yeah, don’t worry, it’s not a regular thing. Jonathon said something to me last night at the end of our date that just got stuck in my head. I didn’t mean to take it out on you, brother.”

“Don’t sweat it. You wanna share what’s bugging you?”

Alec hesitated for a second, giving his brother a hesitant look, before taking the plunge.

“Do I talk about anyone in particular more than anyone else?”

At Jace’s puzzled look, Alec rolled his eyes before expanding on what he meant.

“Magnus. Do I take about Magnus a lot? Say more than anyone else?” Alec huffed out, not sure he really wanted to hear the answer.

“Yeah. You always have,” Jace shot back.

“But no more than he talks about you,” he continued. “That’s what the two of you do. Talk about each other or to each other constantly. Why?”

Alec looked back at him with his mouth hanging open.

“Why the hell did you never say anything!” Alec explodes.

“How the hell did you not know already!” Jace shoots back at him.

“Know what?”

“That the two of you are crazy about each other!”

“What! No, no, we’re not!” Alec spluttered.

“Oh, please, Alec! You started crushing on him the moment you met him! Or at least once you got over that little crush you had on me.” Jace says cockily.

“You know about that?” Alec choked out, unable to look his brother in the eye for a brief moment as embarrassment washed over him.

Jace cocked an eyebrow in disbelief and exasperation at that statement, and not wanting to go down that path, Alec shook his head and continued with the important part of Jace’s last sentence.

“Ok, yes. I had a crush on Magnus a long time ago, but I got over it. I got over it a long time ago.” Alec explained, just a hint of doubt still sounding in his voice.

“Uh, huh. Right,” Jace drawls.

“I did! I moved on when I realised that nothing would ever happen.”

“And why would nothing ever happen?”

“Oh, come on, Jace! Someone like me would never have a chance with a guy like Magnus,” Alec says dejectedly, plopping himself down on the bench beside his brother.

“Ok, first off, that’s bullshit! You are the best guy I know, Alec, and no one is ever going to be good enough for you in my opinion, even Magnus! And trust me! Magnus agrees with me and not you. You may have fooled yourself into thinking you’re over him, but he is well aware of how much he wants you. Why he doesn’t act on it is for him to figure out, but if you want him, Alec, go after him. Either it’ll work out or it won’t, but don’t for a second think you’re not good enough for him.”

As Jace got up to begin heading to the showers, he heard Alec speak softly again behind him.

“And if it doesn’t work out? I don’t want to lose our friendship, Jace.”

Sighing and squatting down in front of his brother, Jace placed his hand on Alec’s knee.

“You might risk your friendship, you’re right. But Alec, you have been waiting a long time to find your person. If you truly think that Magnus might be that person for you, isn’t it worth the risk?” Jace asks softly before getting up and walking over to the showers, leaving Alec alone with his thoughts.

___________________________________________________________________

“You heading out Magus?” Clary asked a few days later, as Magnus stepped into the living room of their shared apartment.

“In a little while. Alec texted earlier that his last class was running late, so we had to push our lunch an hour.” Magnus replied as he flopped down onto the couch beside Clary.

“Are you ready for this lunch?” Clary asked him, eyes watching Magnus’s face carefully.

Magnus gave her a puzzled look.

“Ready for what? I’ve spent oodles of time with Alec before. This is at a minimum, our 500th lunch together. What am I meant to be ready for?” Magnus asked perplexed.

At that comment, Clary rolled her eyes.

“Magnus, please. How long are we continuing to pretend that we both don’t know that you are head over heels for Alec.”

“What are you talking about?” Magnus spluttered.

“Magnus, I’ve seen how you look at him and the way you get hurt every time he doesn’t reciprocate it.”

Magnus dropped his eyes as Clary gave him a sad look. Reaching out, she took hold of his hand and waited for him to look up at her.

“Have you tried telling him how you feel?” She asked gently.

“What’s the point, Clary. He doesn’t feel the same way,” Magnus replied softly.

“You don’t know that.”

“I do,” said Magnus softly. “You think I haven’t looked for any clue available that he may feel the same way about me? I have. And he doesn’t.”

Clary adored her big brother and had done since the first day her parents welcomed him into their family. He was the coolest, kindest, funniest and sweetest guy she knew and she loved him. There was nothing she wouldn’t do for him, and that included continuing to stay silent when she could see he was hurting. At first, she thought that Magnus would simply get over his crush on Alec, but if anything it had only seemed to grow stronger as time had passed. She couldn’t sit silent anymore. If she couldn’t convince him to talk to Alec and tell him how to feel, she could at least acknowledge out loud that she knew and was there for him should he need her.

“How long have you known?” He asked sadly.

“A while now,” she replied sadly, putting her hand on his arm.

“Do you think he knows?” He asked hesitantly, not sure what answer he truly wanted her to give. Part of him would be mortified if Alec knew. On the other hand, if he did know and hadn’t responded, then he definitely wasn’t interested, and maybe Magnus would be able to finally move on.

“Are you kidding? Alec thinks he’s the ugly duckling of the group. Literally. Those were his words to me just last month. He has no idea how attractive he is or how much attention he gets. He has no idea how kind and sweet and funny he is. He’s oblivious to it all, which is why I think you should tell him how you feel, Magnus. He’s not going to make a move, even if he does like you. What have you got to lose?” She asked him

“Alec,” he replies brokenly. “If he doesn’t like me back, and he’s never given me any indication he does, how is our friendship possibly going to survive my confession? I’d lose him, and I don’t think I could survive that, Biscuit.”

At that, Magnus looked down at his watch, and giving his sister a gentle hug, began getting to his feet.

“I gotta go, or I’m going to be late.”

Clary watched him with a sad look as he walked out the door, wishing there was something she could do to make it all better for her brother.

___________________________________________________________________

“Sorry I’m late,” Alec said as he slipped into the seat at the table, Magnus had managed to somehow snag amongst the busy chaos of their favourite restaurant.

“No problem,” Magnus replied with a smile. “I haven’t been here too long myself.”

Alec smiled at Magnus and took a deep breath. For some reason, he was nervous. He knew it was ridiculous. He had shared thousands of meals with the man in front of him and a thousand more hours doing plenty of other things.

But not the things you really want to be doing, right? Alec thought to himself. Almost immediately, Alec found himself reeling from his own internal thoughts. Where the hell had that come from???

Trying to cover his current unease, Alec made a show of picking up his menu and talking about how hungry he was.

He knew exactly why his thoughts were so out of control like this.

It was that crazy talk he’d had with Jace last weekend. It had played on his mind all week.

Did he want to try and take things further with Magnus? His friendship with Magnus was one of the most essential parts of his life. The most important, outside of his family.

Despite how amazing he knew it would be to be able to hold Magnus and kiss him as a lover would, he also knew that it would never last and at the end, he would likely end up with nothing.

There was not a chance in hell that he, Alexander Lightwood, would ever be able to hold and keep Magnus’s attention in a relationship. He was surprised that he’d been able to keep the friendship going this long.

At first, he thought it was merely the fact that his brother and Magnus’s sister had fallen each other at the first drunken kiss, and that relationship had kept them in each other’s orbit.

He had gradually come to accept, however, that he and Magnus had a unique bond outside of the realm of their group of friends. The two understood each other easily, often having whole conversations through eye contact alone, not needing to ever say a word.

Alec would be fooling himself to think this bond could translate over into romance, however. Perhaps, he might be able to hold Magnus’s attention for a week or two, a month if he was truly lucky, but certainly no longer.

Magnus was . . . Magnus! He was one of the most gorgeous men that had ever graced the earth, oozing sex appeal and a cocky confidence that just drew people to him. His body, lithe and muscular, moved with a sort of enviable fluid ease that Alec knew he would never be able to achieve.

If his looks and sex-appeal were all he had, that would be enough. But Magnus was also kind, generous, thoughtful, funny, smart, considerate, sweet, and any other adjective you could think of that described perfection.

Beyond all that, even, Magnus had experience that Alec could never hope to measure up to. Alec had had a front-row seat to Magnus’s rotation of lovers over the years. Always respectful and faithful to those he dated, he nevertheless, finished relationships quickly, telling Alec, simply that he had gotten bored. “It takes a special kind of someone to hold my attention, Alexander. Someone one of a kind,” Magnus had told him, more than once.

The only exception to that pattern had been Camille. An evil witch that Alec had hated, at first sight, especially seeing how smitten and captivated Magnus quickly became with her.

For six months, Alec had watched as Magnus devoted himself to his relationship with the woman, hating the way she had tried to control him.

He’d watched as Magnus toned down his natural extravagance with his makeup and accessories when Camille had claimed that that was a woman’s role.

He’d watched as Magnus had begun to offer his own opinion less and less, instead, taking Camille’s on as his own.

He’d also watched as she protested every minute Magnus spent with his friends, especially Alec. Just as Alec had hated her, she had been venomous in her hatred of him in return, actually accusing him of having too much influence over Magnus! If that had been true, Magnus would never have been with her to start with.

Finally, after six months of watching Magnus try to become so much less than what he was, Alec watched as the witch dumped him, leaving his best friend broken-hearted. Slowly, with the support of Alec and the rest of their friends, the Magnus they all knew and loved had slowly returned to them.

Alec knew if he was ever lucky enough to fall into a relationship with Magnus, he, unlike Camille, would treat him with the love and devotion he so richly deserved. He also knew, though, that that would never happen, and if it did, with his limited experience and knowledge, he would never be able to hold onto him.

With that, Alec had decided to ignore what Jace had said to him at the gym. His friendship with Magnus was precious beyond words, and he wouldn’t jeopardise that for anything, especially a dream that had no chance of being fulfilled.

After finally gathering his thoughts together, and the two gave their order to the waitress that had quickly made her way over to their table, Alec sat back and finally looked up at Magnus.

“So. How have you been?”

“Good,” replied Magnus. “Busy, like I said. Now that we’re back, we’ve all been frantically compiling all of our research and collating the data. It’s a lot of work, but I’ve been enjoying it.”

“That’s great, Magnus. Are you sure you have time for lunch today?” Alec asked, suddenly worried that he had put too much pressure on his friend when he had genuinely been swamped.

“We can do the shopping another time if you need to go back. I won’t mind, I promise.”

At this, Magnus gave Alec a wide grin, a gleeful look lighting up his face.

“No chance, Alexander! You promised me a shopping trip with a gorgeous male model. We are not cancelling this for anything! I will get my promised shopping trip with my best friend, and nothing you say will change my mind,” Magnus declared, giving Alec’s chest a gentle shove to emphasise his point.

“Ok, ok,” Alec chuckled in response, ignoring the slight tingle echoing in his chest from the touch of Magnus’s hand.

“You got it. One shopping trip with a reluctant male model, as you wish.”

“Good!” Magnus said with a smile.

“So, tell me,” Magnus continued. “How have you been? I didn’t get a chance to talk to you last week at the club, and we barely got a chance to talk while I was away. Tell me everything you’ve been up to.”

Feeling the return of the ease and comfort he always felt in Magnus’s presence, Alec leant back in his chair and began regaling Magnus with stories of everything he’d missed while away, completely unaware of the way that Magnus’s eyes were riveted to him, just like always.

___________________________________________________________________

Magnus forgot how much he loved this. He had been trying so hard these last few months to protect his heart, to avoid being alone with Alec that he had forgotten just how easy it was between them. They had been sitting at lunch for a little over an hour now, and Magnus could feel all the tension and stress pouring out of his body.

Currently, Alec was laughing at Magnus’s impression of one of his professors, at the last site of their trip.

“History is alive!” Magnus said in an over-excited and melodious tone, his hands flying around his head in imitation.

“If you’re not feeling it in your very souls! Your very essences, then you have become corrupted by your snap face social media crap!” He finishes with a laugh.

Alec threw his head back in laughter, tears running down his face in his enjoyment of Magnus’s dramatic retelling.

“Oh, man! I can just see Professor Nicholls now,” he chuckles, still trying to compose himself.

“You boys look like you’re enjoying yourself. Is there anything else I can get you?”

Magnus looks up as the waitress interrupts their conversation, and just as she had on every one of her previous visits, her attention was wholly focused on Alec.

“Uh, no. I think we’re good, right, Magnus?” Alec says, looking over at Magnus.

“We’re perfect. Just the check please,” Magnus tells her, with only a small bite to his tone.

“You sure? Nothing off the dessert cart?” She tries again with Alec. “We have lots of different options on the menu,” she says, biting her lip and cocking her hip, as she looked him up and down.

Alec, of course, was, as usual, utterly oblivious to the flirting basically being shoved in his face.

Clary was right. Alec never saw the admiring gazes or the blatant come-ons he got. Magnus was always thankful for this fact when it was a good looking guy flirting with Alec. When it was female like this, regardless of looks, Magnus just found himself annoyed.

Even though he was 100% full on gay (Alec’s words, not his), Alec didn’t really give off that vibe and often found himself the focus of some hopeful woman’s attention. Magnus would find it amusing if they weren’t so damn persistent.

“No, really, I’m fine. Thank you though,” Alec tells her, and with one last regretful look in Alec’s direction, the woman wandered off to get their check.

Magnus cocked his head to the side and gave him a thoughtful look.

“You really don’t see it, do you?” Magnus asks.

“See what?” Alec says, pulling his wallet out and shooting Magnus a questioning gaze.

Magnus chuckles to himself and shakes his head in amusement.

“Nothing, Alec. Absolutely nothing.”

As Alec continues to give him a puzzled look, Magnus chuckles again, his happiness about spending time with Alec again, chasing away his annoyance at the waitress.

“So are you ready to do some serious shopping?” Magnus challenges him.

At this, Alec groans, and lowers his head, elbows on the table, his hand grasped between his two hands and a sad expression on his face.

“Is there anything I can do to convince you to do something else? What about a movie? You want to go see a movie? You can choose? Anything you want!” Alec promises, popping his head back up again, hope in his eyes.

“Not a chance! You promised me shopping, and we’re going shopping!”

As the waitress brought the check to the table, Magnus waved off Alec’s protest as he slipped some cash into the folder.

“As a thank you for acting as my own personal ken doll,” he told Alec, laughing again, as the younger man lets out another groan.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys go shopping and some truths begin to surface.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is the final chapter! I just want to say thank you so much to everyone for the support, the comments and the kudo’s! They have meant so much!!!  
> I hope you have all enjoyed this story and enjoy it’s finale. I always hate ending things, but this one seemed to come fairly easily, I can only hope that means it’s not terrible!!! 😉   
> Constructive feedback is, as always, welcomed, but please be nice.  
> Comments and kudo’s welcomed and appreciated also.

Three hours into their shopping trip and Alec had started to regret his decision to volunteer as Magnus’s personal ken doll. Whatever regret he felt though disappeared whenever he saw the smile light up Magnus’s face as he stepped out of the change room, for the hundredth time that afternoon. 

He and Magnus had alternated with turns trying on clothes, with either Alec offering his uneducated opinion on Magnus’s clothes (which surprisingly Magnus seemed to value) or Alec being sent in with Magnus’s latest pick for him. After seeing the look on Magnus’s face every time he emerged in a new outfit, Alec knew he’d be willing to do this for however long Magnus wanted.

‘He’s so happy,’ Alec thought, watching as Magnus jumped up in delight, flowery words about the way the fabric of the shirt draped over Alec’s shoulders, and the pants hugged his hips, spilling from his mouth. Or something along those lines at least. Alec really had little understanding of what he was talking about. 

He’d never understood fashion or the devotion that Magnus and Isabelle gave to it, choosing to focus only on what felt comfortable. He kept to dark colours, knowing they made it easier for him to find clothes that matched, and if he wore a button-up, he would generally ensure it was ironed, but that was the extent of his efforts.

He knew Magnus was different, though. He saw it as an extension of his personality, a way to present himself unapologetically to the world and say take me or leave me, this is who I am. 

His bravery in doing this was one of the things Alec admired most about him. At the moment, though, he would also be happy with a little less of that devotion to style being directed to him.

“Darling, you look absolutely divine! These are definitely items for the keep pile. The things those pants do for your arse alone means that you have to have them,” Magnus said, circling Alec as he stood in front of the mirror.

Feeling the blush come over his cheeks at Magnus’s words, knowing that it meant, in some way at least, Magnus was checking out and admiring his rear-end.

“Just how much are we thinking of buying here today?” Alec asks, trying to squeeze the words out of his suddenly tight throat.

“Do you care?” Magnus asks blithely, moving over to another rack of clothes to begin browsing again.

“My family might have money, Magnus, but I do try to keep to somewhat of a budget,” Alec said jokingly.

However, at this comment, Magnus turned to him with a look of disbelief clear on his face.

“Keep to a budget? Alexander, if you have spent any money at all on clothes in the last year, I’ll be . . . No, I’ll simply call you a liar, because I know you haven’t,” Magnus drawled, raising his eyebrow at Alec as if daring him to contradict his statement.

Instead, Alec shuffled his feet uncomfortably. 

“So I spend my money on other things, sue me.’

Giving a slight smile in response to Magnus’s chuckle, Alec continued.

“Seriously though. Do you think maybe we can say we’ve hit our quota of shopping for today? We’ve already got enough to replace my entire wardrobe and maybe an eighth of yours,” Alec says with a smirk.

“Ha, ha, ha,” Magnus responds sarcastically.

With one last look at his friend, Magnus rolls his eyes and ducks his head slightly in a gesture of submission.

“Fine! We can stop. I can’t say you haven’t humoured my love of shopping beautifully today.”

Alec smiled happily back at his friend and turned around to the change room, to return to his regular clothes. When he came out, he tossed the clothes on to the ‘purchase’ pile and let out a laugh when Magnus rolled his eyes and chastised him for his lack of care. Alec became a little concerned, though, when Magnus became quite still, almost wringing the clothes in his hand before turning almost hesitantly to face him.

“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus said softly. “I have truly missed having times like today with you. I forgot how much I treasure it and our friendship.”

Alec’s heart gave a small stutter at the words, and for a short moment, the two of them stood frozen where they were, the tension and expectation thick around them both. Eventually, Magnus gave Alec a small flustered smile and began to turn away again.

Not able to let the other man move away, even the few feet it would take to return the clothes in his hand, Alec reached out and took hold of Magnus’s elbow, keeping him in place.

Alec waited the few seconds it took for Magnus to turn to look at him, a question in his eyes, before speaking.

“I value it too, Magnus. More than you will ever know. I don’t think I could live without you in my life.”

________________________________________________________

“Thank you, Alexander,” Magnus found himself saying. “I have truly missed having time like today with you. I forgot how much I treasure it and our friendship.”

Magnus felt trapped in Alexander’s gaze, aware that he had probably revealed much more in his statement than he had initially wanted. He hadn’t been able to help himself, though. 

This afternoon with Alec had been one of the best in his life. And it wasn’t because they had eaten exceptional food, or engaged in a massive shopping spree (though Magnus had given it a good effort). It was simply because he’d been with Alexander. That was the simple truth of Magnus’s life. As long as he had Alexander in it, he was happy. 

Feeling overwhelmed by the truth of what he now knew with certainty, Magnus spared Alec a small smile, before turning away to gather the clothes they had decided to purchase, needing a moment to find his balance again. 

Before he could entirely turn away, though, he felt Alec reach out and take hold of his elbow. Confused, Magnus looked down for a second at Alec’s hand wrapped around his skin, before looking up to meet Alec’s piercing eyes.

“I value it too, Magnus. More than you will ever know. I don’t think I could live without you in my life.” 

At Alec’s words, Magnus felt all the air in his lungs rushing out, his eyes searching his favourite blues for any sign that Alexander felt as he does. As he watched, he saw Alec’s eyes drop to Magnus’s lips, his gaze zeroing in on the way Magnus was licking his lips, desperately trying to alleviate their sudden dryness. As Alec dragged his gaze back up to Magnus’s, Magnus let out a small “screw it,” before taking hold of Alec by the waist and pulling him in.

The minute Magnus touched his lips to Alec’s, he felt an immediate sensation of the world dropping out from underneath him, leaving Alexander the only thing keeping him tethered to the ground. 

The kiss began roughly, years of pent up passion finally being unleashed as Magnus moved his lips over Alec’s, his tongue swiping over the other man’s bottom lip, begging, almost demanding entrance, a demand Alec promptly gave in to. Magnus could feel heat racing through his body in his elation of the moment, the touch of Alec’s lips pressed close, their tongues duelling in that age-old dance, and he never wanted it to stop.

It wasn’t long though before the kiss gentled into something less demanding and more worshipping. The two of them content to take the time needed to gently explore this new pleasure. 

Slowly, minutes later, as the need for oxygen became too great, Magnus pressed one last kiss against Alec’s lips, before drawing back. His hands were still cradling Alec’s face, where they had moved to rest during their unexpected make-out session, Alec’s coming loose from the tight hold they had had on Magnus’s waist to rest gently on his hips.

“Wow,” Alec breathed out, chest still heaving as he brokenly drew air back into his lungs.

“That’s one word for it,” Magnus replied. 

As he gradually began to regain some form of lucidity, he suddenly became aware that he had just forever changed the nature of his and Alec’s relationship. It hadn’t been a planned decision to kiss Alec, but he had been unable to stop himself after hearing Alexander’s words. 

For so long now, he had craved to be to Alexander what the man was to him. He had thought it a possibility many times over the years, and indeed Alexander had frequently told him that he was important, but he’d never said that. 

‘I don’t think I could live without you.’ 

Even now, frozen on this vulnerable precipice that would decide the future of their friendship, the words sent shivers up and down Magnus’s spine and made him crave to bring his lips back to Alexander’s.

“Magnus,” Alec began, still looking slightly shellshocked, as he dropped his hands from Magnus’s waist and stepped back, causing Magnus to drop his hands also.

“What was that? What just happened?” He asked.

Magnus considered for a brief moment about brushing the kiss-off as a mistake. An error in judgement. A ‘I got lost in the moment - now let’s forget about it’ kind of thing. But looking at Alec’s still swollen lips, seeing the way the other man’s hands were clenching and unclenching at his side, Magnus couldn’t do it. He didn’t want to lie to his best friend anymore. He didn’t want to hide one of the most essential parts of his life from the person he told everything to. Everything except the one thing that was more important to him than anything else.

Taking a fortifying breath, Magnus met the eyes of the man he loved and confessed.

“That was me, finally doing what I’ve been wanting to do for years, Alexander. That was me finally kissing you.”

________________________________________________________

“That was me, finally doing what I’ve been wanting to do for years, Alexander. That was me finally kissing you.”

Alec took a moment to try and process the words his best friend was saying, but they didn’t add up. Magnus was fearless, he was unflinching. When he wanted to do something, he did it. He was the one who encouraged Alec to do the same. How then, could Magnus have wanted to kiss him for years, and he had never known?

“You’ve been wanting to kiss me for years,” Alec repeated back to him, the confusion in his voice, clear, even to him.

“Why didn’t you then? If you’ve wanted to do this for years, what stopped you?” Alec asked, desperate to understand what was happening.

At his question, Magnus took a step back of his own, and Alec had to fight the instinct to mirror his action with one moving forward, to bring Magnus back within arms reach.

“I didn’t because I was scared,” he answered, giving a gentle shrug of his shoulders, lifting his eyes back to Alec’s briefly before dripping them down again and continuing to explain.

“I didn’t want to lose you, and if you don’t feel the same way that I do, then I risk doing that,” he said, his eyes filled with doubt and anxiety that nearly break Alec’s heart. 

Giving in to his urge, he finally took that step forward, and reaching out, took hold of Magnus’s hands. He ducked his head slightly, wordlessly encouraging Magnus to lift his gaze from where it had dropped to somewhere around Alec’s collarbone. As Magnus finally, _finally_ raised his eyes, Alec smiled, and trying to put as much reassurance into his expression and words as possible, Alec sought to convince his friend of the truth of his next few words.

“You are never, never,” he emphasised, “going to lose me.”

“Really?” Magnus asked, doubt still colouring his voice. 

“Never going to happen,” Alec replied firmly.

“Didn’t I just say I didn’t think I could live without you?” He continued. “That’s still true, and that’s never going to change Magnus.”

As Alec searched Magnus’s face, he began to see some of the fear fade away, obviously seeing and hearing the truth of Alec’s words. 

Once he was sure Magnus believed him, Alec asked the other question that was sitting on the tip of his tongue, desperate to know if what he’d heard was in fact true.

“You said,” Alec began before stuttering to a stop, his heart thumping so heavily in his chest, he could barely breathe.

“You said, you didn’t want to risk losing me, if I didn’t feel the same way about you, that you feel about me,” Alec finally choked out.

As Magnus immediately dropped his gaze again, Alec ducked his head down, trying to capture his eyes again, before continuing regardless.

“How do you feel about me?”

________________________________________________________

“You said, you didn’t want to risk losing me if I didn’t feel the same way about you, that you felt about me.”

Magnus could see Alec trying to meet his gaze as he spoke, but for the life of him, he just couldn’t bring himself to look up, especially when Alec continued, asking the question that Magnus both craved and feared to answer.

“How do you feel about me?”

For a full minute, the two of them just stood there, close together but still separated by the unspoken words between them. 

Magnus knew what he was going to say. He was going to tell Alec the truth finally. He was going to tell him that he fell in love with him when they were still both teenagers, not even knowing what love truly was, but knowing what he felt. He was going to tell Alec that he knew, without a shadow of a doubt that he would love Alec forever, and that nothing and no one was ever going to change that. He was going to tell Alec that his love for him was so strong, that he would step back and watch Alec meet and fall in love for another and do so happily if that was what it took to make Alec happy because Alec’s happiness was his happiness. He was going to tell Alec all this and then tell him that he hoped that Alec would choose him though. He hoped Alec would love him as much as he loved Alec, and that if he did, Magnus would be the happiest man in the world because that was all he wanted.

And so he did. 

He told Alec everything.

When he was finished, he looked up, scared to see Alec’s reaction but also feeling like he was able to breathe freely for the first time in years. 

Once his eyes connected to Alec’s though, he felt that same breath stolen once more when he saw the love he had just spoken of, shining clearly on Alec’s face. 

Before Magnus could fully register what his eyes were seeing, he felt the Alec pull him close, aligning their bodies seamlessly as though they were made that way.

“I love you too, you fool,” Alec whispered, resting his forehead against Magnus’s, his words tickling soft gusts of breath against Magnus’s lips before he reached down and claimed his lips as his own.

Magnus was immediately caught up in that same beautiful flare of heat shooting through his body from the touch of Alexander’s lips against his own. 

For a brief moment, all was right with the world, and Magnus was praying that this moment, right now, would never end. That he would be allowed to spend the rest of his days, kissing Alec, their bodies moulded together so closely it was difficult to see where one ended, and the other began. 

After a few minutes, however, they both seemed to be aware of a sniffling sound off to the side. Quietly, they broke off their kiss, foreheads still resting against each other, and hearing the sniff again, looked to their side to see two sales clerks, a short distance away, hugging each other, one of them with tears rolling down her face.

“That was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen!” She sobbed at them, her friend nodding her head fervently beside her, tears welled in her own eyes.

“Thank you?” Alec said, clearly uncomfortable for what he now realised was a very public display of affection. Chuckling and burying his face momentarily into Alec’s chest, Magnus took a moment to revel in the happiness he currently felt in every fibre of his being. Eventually, he popped his head up and drew Alec’s gaze back to his with a gentle hand to his jaw.

“Why don’t we get out of here?” He whispered.

“My place?” Alec asks back in a hushed tone.

“Sounds perfect,” Magnus answers. With one last peck to Alexander’s lips and an impish smile to the two sales clerks, Magnus grabbed his love’s hand and began to pull him from the store, the clothes they had set aside to be bought, left forgotten in their wake.

________________________________________________________

**9 months later.**

“Oh, God,” Clary groans out of the blue.

“What is it?” Izzy asks, turning her head to see what had caught Clary’s attention.

“Magnus has got a hanger-on,” she replies.

Jace and Alec both abruptly stop what they were doing, as they overhear Clary’s words.

Once again, the group had assembled to hear their friend Simon play, in what had become a regular gig for the up-and-coming local singing star. Isabelle had arrived early with Simon to ensure she could snag a table directly in front of the stage her boyfriend would perform on, with Clary and Magnus arriving not long after her. Magnus had gone to the bar to collect a round for the friends, when Alec and Jace finally arrived, 15 minutes after everyone else. When Clary had spotted her brother being hassled at the bar, she had quickly pointed it out to everyone else.

“I think that’s your cue, big brother,” Jace says with a laugh, turning back to sit down and sling an arm around his fiancé’s shoulder as Alec set off with a sly grin on his face.

________________________________________________________

Magnus rolled his eyes to himself as his persistent admirer refused to take no for an answer.

He had spent the last few minutes politely and not so politely trying to let the guy know he wasn’t interested. However, the man’s slightly inebriated state had bolstered his confidence so much it had muted his ability to take a hint because the guy was not giving up.

Magnus was trying to figure out if it was worth how much trouble he could get in, to simply hit the obnoxious man, when he suddenly felt someone new sidle up to him, and an arm slide around his waist. Recognising the tingles that were radiating out from the touch of this newcomer, Magnus began to smile, as he felt his cheek caressed by the softest lips he’d ever felt and a voice that had graced his dreams and fantasies for all the years he had known it.

“Hey, babe. I’m sorry I’m late.”

With a loving look, Magnus turned to see his Alexander standing beside him, his arm wrapped around Magnus’s waist. He was smiling down at him with the softest and sweetest smile he had ever seen, the same one he had seen directed at him every day of the last nine months, and it still caused his stomach to flutter and excitement to chase through his body.

“It’s no problem, darling” Magnus responded with a happy smile, “I’m happy to wait as long as it takes for you,” he said with a wink. 

At this, Alec pressed a kiss to his lips, and Magnus closed his eyes in pure bliss, knowing that Alec knew exactly how true his words were and that Alexander felt the same way. 

When Jace had proposed to Clary last month, after weeks of planning and agonising, the two of them had told Alec and Magnus that they wanted to move in together. It had taken exactly three minutes for Alec and Magnus to decide that this suited them perfectly, and Alec had moved out of his place with Jace, and into Magnus’s, Clary doing the same in reverse. Still caught up in the beauty of their love, they had become the most affectionate and sickeningly sweet couple of their group, frequently getting caught up in each other’s presence and forgetting those around them. Like they were now.

It wasn’t long though, till the lovers were broken out of their trance.

“Who the fuck are you?” asks the belligerent man to Alec, before he turned to look back at Magnus accusingly.

“I’m his boyfriend, and the guy he goes home with,” Alec replied steadily. “Who the hell are you?”


End file.
